TWW Activity List (C2;CD28;6DPO)

I came across this article about ways you can distract yourself and keep busy during that horrible TWW. I wanted to post it on here for my own amusement as I think it's quite hillarious!

14 Things to Do when 14 Days Seem Like Forever
Lynn Steen

As any woman who is trying to get pregnant can tell you, the two weeks from ovulation to the due date for your next period are pure torture. You promise yourself you’ll just wait it out, distract yourself with other activities and you won’t even THINK about taking a pregnancy test until you’re at least a day overdue. Then something happens – your breasts start hurting in a slightly different way than they did before, you get slightly nauseous, you have some spotting, or nothing happens, but you find yourself waking up wishing you could go to sleep again so that it would be another day closer to knowing. You can’t think, you can’t sleep, you can’t work, and you start taking HPT’s days before they are even possibly meaningful. You are deep in the abyss of THE TWO-WEEK-WAIT!

In my opinion, it’s no use advising women to stop obsessing, it’s impossible. Instead, I give you a list of more productive ways to obsess. Please note, however, that there is a limit that each woman must define for herself, between indulging in some baby daydreaming and going overboard. I’ve included some examples below:

1. Take a walk around your neighborhood and figure out what will be the best route for strolls with the baby. Find areas with nice pavements and easy curbs. Go ahead and daydream. But do NOT buy a stroller for the dog.
2. Clean out your wardrobe to make room for the maternity stuff you’ll be buying soon. Try on anything you haven’t worn for six months. Yes, if you wish, you may put a pillow in your undies to see what will work as maternity wear. But taking a picture of yourself like that is going too far.
3. Start a journal. Write down everything you’re feeling. It will be a great opening chapter for your child’s baby book. If you can’t put your feelings into words, draw something; try to create a symbol that expresses the frustration you’re feeling. Don’t get that symbol tattooed on your ankle.
4. Plant a hope garden. Or a hope rosebush. Or a hope citrus tree. You want to grow something inside of you, well start by growing something outside of you. Nurture it. Feed it. Give it water. Talk to it. But do not send out birth announcements.
5. Get better at photography. Really learn how to work all the buttons and settings on your camera. Experiment! If you have a digital camera, get all the downloading and editing stuff worked out. You will be well prepared once you have a baby, and will be able to get some great shots and get them emailed to your family before the child’s graduation. Do not take photos of your cervical mucous, even if Toni Weschler begs you.
6. Make an appeal to the committee meeting going on inside you. Sperm, egg, uterus, corpus luteum, progesterone – they are in there either making a baby or not. Treat them like any other unruly committee you’ve ever addressed. Yes that’s right, go ahead and talk to them. Put your hands on your stomach and tell them how much you respect them. Make your best argument in favor of a baby, and then let them decide. It’s out of your hands. Addressing the committee within earshot of normal people is not recommended.
7. Paint your toenails. Imagine how difficult this will be when you are pregnant. Go shopping for the perfect pink and blue nail polish in preparation for a celebration polish. Alternating colors on the day you find out you’re pregnant, or a single color for the day you find out the baby’s sex. Don’t be tempted to paint a cycle day countdown on your big toes.
8. Make a cup of herbal tea. It is a nice ritual: boiling the water, adding the tea leaves, pouring into a nice china cup, adding some milk or sugar, sipping peacefully. Ahhhh. There’s nothing that a nice cup of tea won’t help. Yeah right. Well it does kill a little bit of time.
9. Swim laps. Think about the sperm and how they need to swim to your egg. Imagine that you are a sperm, the end of the pool is the egg, then GO, GO, GO! Don’t wear a tail or anything. Just imagine it quietly.
10. Make lists. List all the people you will tell when you get pregnant, and in what order. List all the little jobs you need to get done instead of obsessing about this 2WW! List all the healthy activities you intend to do this week. List all the girl and boy names you like. Lists are helpful for all sorts of things, most of all for passing time rather than actually doing something.
11. Create a fertility dance. Choose whatever music speaks to your soul and make up a dance routine as a prayer to the universe for the growth of an embryo. Move your hips, rotate your belly, let your arms flow – but close the curtains.
12. Prepare a folic acid feast. Cream of broccoli soup as an entree, followed by spinach lasagne, enriched whole grain garlic bread and frozen orange juice sorbet for dessert. Dedicate the meal to your baby-to-be. Just don’t set a highchair at the table in his or her honor.
13. Delegate the burden of the two-week wait. Clearly someone has to worry constantly during this time, but does it have to be you? Divide the days up among your best friends and closest family. On their assigned day they are required to think, wonder, and worry all day about whether you are pregnant or not. At the end of the day they have to call or send you email describing how agonizing it was. Also they have to report to you if they had any “symptoms,” such as sore breasts, excessive urination, nausea, bleeding, fatigue… you will be surprised how many people, male and female, have early pregnancy symptoms if they just look for them.
14. Write a list of 14 things to do during the Two-Week Wait and post it to the internet. For me, this killed nearly 3 hours. Now what? I’ve still got 9 days to go?aaaarrgrhhhh.

As for me, things are ok. My temps are slowly on the rise (generally). I did have a bit of a worry last night as I had some shooting pains in my uterus (well, I think so... who can tell really?) and I have been quite sensitive, but hopefully that's either a good/normal thing, or it will pass. Will have to wait and see (like everything...)

Until next time...

Coverline Victory (C2;CD25;3DPO)

My first ever coverline by adding my temperatures in Fertlity Friend! Yay!! Although I had already received the positive OPK the other day, this just further cemented the fact that I did ovulate when I thought I had, and hopefully, hubby's swimmers and my eggie will have met and done their thing as they should.

Wow, wouldn't that be a miracle? First time we tried IUI and it worked?? I don't want to get my hopes up, but if it's happened to others, it could happen to us too!

Will just have to wait and see... 11 days until the TWW is over, so I have to occupy myself somehow until then.

Positive OPK

Just wanted to also say, at 2pm today I got my FIRST EVER positive OPK which means that I will probably ovulate in the next 24-36 hours!!!!!!!!!

I just hope it's not too late for the sperm to catch the eggie!

IUI Day (C2; CD21)

Today was D-Day. Appointment at the hospital was booked in for 11am and I took the day off sick so that I could attend.

When I got there, I had to go up to the Repoductive Biology floor. I was told to wait outside while they called Dr. A few minutes later he came out to get me. The room itself was quite large, and there in the middle was the table/chair for me to lie on... I felt like I was bloody centrestage! Dr was the only one there the whole time. He asked me to undress and get into a gown. Then I hopped up onto the chair and waited while he got everything ready.

Then, he inserted the speculum to open my cervix and it really hurt. My thoughts immediately went to the reading I had done saying that this was because I may not be 'ready' to ovulate then and therefore completely dismissed me getting pregnant this month before I had even finished! He then took a moment to insert the tube into my cervix and inject the sperm. It was all over within a couple of minutes, but it was very uncomfortable.

He allowed me to sit there for about 5 minutes or so, and then I got up, got dressed and left and it was all over. Now as I am sitting here typing this, I don't really know what to feel. The sheet the lab had prepared when thawing DH's sperm had written on it and circled "Very Poor"... well, of COURSE I know they're very poor. Just made me feel even worse...

I asked what would happen from here on in. He said that all I can do now is wait and see. He said I will either get my period, or I won't. If after a couple of weeks I still don't have it, I was to make an appointment with him for a pregnancy test. He told me not to do them at home as they would just 'confuse' me - but given my state of mind, I really don't think I can't NOT do them. Guess there is now nothing I can do but wait and hope my body works for a change.

Until next time...

Needles?? Pfffft!! (C2;CD20)

Well, here I stand, proud and tall shouting out that I made it! DH gave me my first needle this morning (tummy fat) and I didn't feel a thing.

I was so petrified the whole time that I was going to feel the sting that I was trying to breathe through it, but I really didn't need to as I felt more of the cold antiseptic wipe that went on first (it was a cold morning this morning!) than the injection itself.

That was a relief at least - gives me confidence that the next times (if any, here's hoping not) it will be no problem.

IUI is booked in for tomorrow at 11am. I have been madly over the last 24 hours trying to rearrange appointments and meetings at work so that I can successfully have a sickie tomorrow without it affecting anything. The number of lies I have told... I'm going straight to hell! Will update more after the IUI... but until the dreaded TWW is over, there may not be much to update!

Until next time,

Can you hear the drumroll? (C2;CD19)

16-17mm!

That's the size of my follicle on my left ovary! YAY ME!

Dr is quite happy now with the size of it and is certain that we now have to intercept 'nature' so to speak, and cut off ovulation at the pass before it occurs. I was so elated when he said this, I almost couldn't sit still.

I've now been given a trigger injection to give myself in the morning (tomorrow) which makes me ovulate within 36 hours afterwards. I am then booked in for the IUI at the Royal Women's at 11:00am on Wednesday where all of DH's swimmers will be inserted into my cervix.

I know it's early days, but I'm starting to feel positive all over again - I could be a mummy in as little as two weeks (after the dreaded two week wait (TWW) - grrrr!)

Until next time...

Glimmer of hope (C2;CD16)

Well, turns out my 9mm follicle has decided to grow and has turned into a 12mm follicle. Dr has said that it is unlikely it would continue to grow unless it was going to do something, so for the first time, I'm starting to feel a lot more confident about this cycle.

I am now booked in for another scan on Monday (he hopes it will be around 18mm by then) and if so, we may be able to start IUI (intra-uterine insemination) as early as next week if all goes to plan. But, we'll just have to wait and see. One thing I have come to expect is that nothing is 'normal' - so we just need to learn what my body is doing to kick me into action.

I have also increased the metformin from 1 to 2 tablets per day as of Monday - and for the last few days have had a lot of stomach upsets as a result. I'm not too worried, as from what I have read that is the most common side effect and it should settle down very shortly.

Until next time

And now for another scan (C2;CD12)

Well, as I expected...

Nothing of real interest at the scan today. Dr did see one follicle on my (right?) ovary about 9mm but he doesn't know if it will get bigger or just stay as is. He said I may be someone who just reacts slowly to the meds, so he has booked me in for a rescan on Friday morning.

If this doesn't work, we'll wait for / induce a period and then try for the final time on the clomid taking three a day. He thinks if that doesn't work, then we'll move straight to the follicle stimulating hormone (FSH) injections, which act almost like a diabetic needle taken daily.

I am praying that the next cycle is the one, and he thinks there may be a possibility if the metformin has also been in my system for a short while as well it may make a difference, as well as continued weight loss. But, we'll just have to see about that one.

Get bigger follies!! (C2; CD9)

C'mon follies... grow grow grow!

I'm feeling a bit up and down this time. Sometimes I am confident that I am going to ovulate this cycle, and other times (like the last 24 hours) I feel very flat and depressed like I just 'know' that the clomid isn't working this cycle either.

I have decided to ask Dr that if it doesn't work this cycle to see if we can give it another go next cycle to let the metformin have a chance to work its way through my system as well as me continue on the weight loss I am trying at the moment as well.

So, I'm torn - I'm torn between wanting to do this quickly and the other side of trying other alternatives before heading straight down the injection (and then possible IVF) phase.

I've take OPK tests for the last two days and one day I got a faint line, the other (last night) nothing - so I guess that's why I'm feeling a little despondent. Not that something is expected to happen in terms of ovulation this early in the piece, but I can't help but feel like I did this time last cycle where I just 'knew' nothing was happening. It's funny how you think you can know what your body is doing without 'knowing'!

Anyway, I guess we'll wait and see as only time will tell.

Until next time

Second scan (C2;CD5)

Let me start by saying I am SO glad my Dr is back from holidays... as I left my appointment, albeit disappointed as I have still not ovulated, I felt content and happy that I feel he genuinely cares about making sure I am informed and in control of this process.

So, yes - no ovulation. And, I basically expected this so not much to be surprised about. The best part about it is that Dr's calm manner did not make me upset like last time. In fact, he was very reassuring saying that it's not a matter of if I am to get pregnant, but when. When he said that, I honestly felt like jumping up and screaming with joy... the further and further we go through this process, the more I realise that this may actually be a reality. I could be a mummy very soon!

The 'good' (if you can call it that!) news is, I have now increased my dosage of clomid to 2 tablets daily, as well as starting on metfomin. My fasting glucose test results were higher than normal (19? I think) and he said that was to be expected seeing as that is the primary cause of PCOS. He said the advantage with metformin is that being a diabetic drug, it doesn't have the same risk of multiples that clomid does, and if successful, I may not even need the clomid and may be able to ovulate on my own!

As I have not ovulated, and he doesn't feel it's necessary to waste time inducing another bleed, we are starting a new cycle today as of CD5 so that I can start on my new dose of clomid and metformin as of today.

So, now we're on to CD5 of C2... I am really hoping that this cycle is the one that works, and a bit nervous - then it means we get to inseminate and go from there!

Until next time...

First Scan (C1;CD12)

This morning I had my first CD12 scan (with another Dr as mine was on holidays).

I was told bluntly that there 'wasn't anything happening' and I was to come back next Monday for another scan to see if anything had changed.

It went so quickly and it was so matter of fact, it wasn't until I got back to the car that I began to feel disappointed. I know, I know - it's only the first cycle on clomid and there's still a possible long road ahead, but it's the little things over time that get you down.

The good news is I had a really faint line on the OPK last night - I am desparately hoping that over time the line will get darker and I will actually ovulate, but only time will tell.

Until next time...

Off the Clomid...(C1;CD10)

The day after clomid... wow, this is what 'the other side' feels like.

Feeling a bit weird at the moment. After the whole Maybe Baby partial ferning fiasco, I got my hopes up quite a bit, thinking that my body was actually kick starting back into action again.

Since then, I've been testing in the morning (which is when it says you're supposed to) and have just been getting pebbles. I've also been testing with Ovulation Predictor Kits (OPKs) and have also been getting negatives. I know it's still early days (I'm only on CD10 and 'normally' ovulation isn't for a few more days, but I can't help feeling like I know this cycle isn't going to work. I just can't shake the feeling.

I know hubby would just say that's 'typical' me - expect the worst (so I won't be disappointed) and hope for the best. But even still, I just can't help it! I want so badly for all of this to work out, and it suddenly hit me the other day the realisation that there is a possibility that we may not be able to have children. I felt like I could barely breath. Sure, we'd talked about it, I'm doing everything I can but I don't think I ever fully accepted that as a possibility. I always just thought it may take a long time, but we'd get there. And the other day, that thought vanished and was replaced by the thought that that may never happen.

Of course, only time will tell - and hey, this is my first cycle on clomiphene and where we can monitor my damn body and I haven't even reached the stage where I 'should' be ovulating so I suppose I shouldn't be worrying, but I can't shake this horrible feeling it's not working for me.

Will keep posting after appointment on Wednesday for my scan.

Until next time...