To be numb (C3:CD23)

I'm looking around, but I don't see anything. People are making noise around me, but I don't hear anything. There's no point eating, because I can't taste anything.

DH's semen analysis results came back today, and I feel completely numb.

His morphology is now showing a 97% abnormality. Before, I am sure, it was 94% (which of itself was bad enough). I just don't understand it. We've done everything we could have to try and improve on this, but the results speak for themselves. I honestly don't want to give up hope - for god's sake I've been through enough in these past months than to see it all go to waste, but the chances of his sperm resulting in a successful conception now are slim.

He is having another meeting with his specialist next week for a checkup (given he is still off his medication) and to discuss the results. My hope is that they are able to keep him off for a little while longer so that we can at least try and see if that makes a longer term difference to the results. Wishful thinking maybe... but I need something to peg my hope on to.

His count has also decreased, though his motility has increased. Also hard to say why this is happening. It just simply doesn't make any sense.

I can't write anymore, I can't think anymore.