The results are in (C5, CD21)

It's another see-saw result for hubby's analysis and it's getting so frustrating. Results came back as:

Volume 5.9ml
Count 14 mil (should be more than 20)
Motility 24% (should be more than 40%)
Mean velocity 46
Morphology 91% abnormal (should be under 85%)

I don't really know what to say. Morphology has improved, but motility and count are way way down. I don't understand it.

Our BD sessions didn't go as planned either. I will try and stay positive but common sense is telling me the odds of doing so are microscopic seeing as we didn't BD when we were supposed to.

To make things worse, I was completely resentful last night (and this morning). I know it's not anyone's fault that it didn't happen the way we wanted, but deep down all I could think about was that we had such a small window of opportunity and I had spent the whole cycle injecting myself, being poked, prodded and taking every medication under the sun and all he had to do was have sex!!! I was resentful thinking that I might now have to do this all over again, and added to that - this was one of our last natural cycles (could be the last depending on how long I take to ovulate next cycle) which means I will have to indure more pain and cost to move to further assisted conception (IUI/IVF).

Even by writing this, I feel horrible - but it's completely honest. I don't want to feel that way towards him as I don't want to think of 'using' him for his sperm. I love him to death, and I know that he is also disappointed and part of me wants to slap myself (and him!). I took an OPK this morning and I got 2 lines straight away so I know I am ovulating today so we will try again tonight. We'll give anything a shot I guess... after all, tonight could be the night!