Stress (18w;1d)

"Vernix is beginning to form to protect my skin,
and I've started hiccupping!"

I'm out of control - the stress is driving me insane.

I can't cope with work - every night for the past few nights I've come home in absolute tears. Today, right in front of my assistant in our regular morning meeting I burst into tears. She didn't know what to do, and neither did I so I just pretended that it was nothing and kept on ploughing on through the meeting.

I am sure that my recent inability to cope is due to my pregnancy hormones being out of control. I just can't deal with things they way I used to, and certainly not this stress. I feel like I have the weight of the world on my shoulders at the moment, and there is nothing I can do about it.

I am the only family law person here at work - there is no one else. I am the family law 'department'. The matter I have at the moment is an absolute shambles, and with me only doing this for the past 6 months or so, I simply don't have the necessary knowledge and experience to know instinctively what to do when something crops up. The managing partner who normally supervises me (the only other person who remotely knows anything about family law) is overseas and not back until next week, and our barrister, who I have now lost all confidence in, seems to give me the brush off whenever I call.

I can't cope with it - I feel like I'm alone in this minefield and I cannot be sitting here making mistakes on files when someone's welfare is on the line. We're at a crucial stage right now and all my head is consumed with is what things I may have missed, or what I should be doing but haven't.

To make it worse, the lawyer on the other side is an absolute snake. She twists and turns everything, taking complete advantage of the fact that I am junior and tries to get away with everything she possibly can. Problem is, I don't have anyone to seek advice from as to what she is asking for is inappropriate or not. I just have to make that call on my own, and I'm not comfortable with it.

I don't know... this is just a vent I guess, and I don't think there is really anything I can do about it. It just frustrates me, because I really don't need this right now and I am concerned that my stress levels are having an effect on the baby. I don't want anything to happen to it! So, I'll see how I go I guess. Take it one day at a time...